While it can take time to get over the negative feelings of grief, there are things you can do to make the time pass more easily. Be assertive and do what you can to manage your grief. No list of tips will take your grief away, but the process can be made easier.

Soothe your grief with these tips:

1.      Find other grievers. Grief is such a universal process and emotion. It’s easy to find others facing the same obstacles. Find a local support group. Any local hospital will have a list. You can also do a quick search online.

✓      If you’re a private person, consider joining an online forum. You can easily remain anonymous and share more freely.

2.      Write a letter to your lost loved one. You probably left a few things unsaid. We all do. Now is the chance to say what needs to be said. Write a letter to the person you lost and say it.

3.      Avoid the use of drugs, alcohol, food, and sex to numb your pain. Creating another challenge on top of the one you’re already facing doesn’t make a lot of sense. Avoid creating further difficulties for yourself.

✓      The last thing you need now is to gain 50 pounds or develop a drug addiction. Deal with your grief intelligently.

4.      Make your health a priority. It’s not unusual for someone in the grief process to ignore their basic hygiene, eat poorly, stay up late, avoid exercise, and so on.

✓      Grief is easier to manage if you’re at your physical best. Take care of yourself and see a physician when necessary.

5.      Resume your normal life. Returning to your normal routine will keep your mind busy and show you that parts of your life are still intact.

✓      Take the time you need, but get back to work. Return to church. Get back to playing softball on Thursday nights. Your poker buddies are waiting for you.

6.      Volunteer. Providing assistance and relief to others can help you to deal with your own grief. It also demonstrates to you that you’re valuable to the world. There are people that need your help.

7.      Be patient. Avoid getting frustrated with yourself and others. Your friends mean well when they tell you to “snap out of it.” Let them know that you need time.

✓      Similarly, be gentle with yourself. It can take years to feel like your old self. Celebrate each day and enjoy the little victories. Small steps are significant if you take enough of them.

8.      Talk with your friends and family about the loss. Talking about your loss can be beneficial. There’s no reason to keep your pain to yourself. Reach out to others and let them help you.

9.      Indulge in your hobbies. Hobbies are optional activities that we enjoy. We only do them because we enjoy them! Why not spend some time on something you enjoy?

✓      Even if you don’t feel like it, make yourself take part in the hobbies that you’ve enjoyed in the past.

10.  Find a new hobby. Now might be the perfect time to show yourself that your life can change in a positive way, even without your loved one present. You have interests that you’ve never indulged in. Now is a great time to try one.

11.  Travel. Getting out of town can renew your perspective of the world. You’ll notice that other people are living their lives. Getting out of your normal routine can be helpful and provide a little relief.

12.  Exert yourself physically. When you’re stressed or sad, a little exercise can provide huge benefits. You don’t have to go for a run. Grab a rake and deal with the leaves. If it’s springtime, consider planting a garden.

✓      The more complex the activity, the less time you’ll spend focusing on your loss and misery.

✓      Your natural tendency during periods of loss is to sit at home and brood. Get out of the house and move your body.

13.  Turn to your religion or seek out a new one. You can find comfort in turning to your church leader and congregation during this time.

✓      Maybe you’re ready for a change. There are different spiritual viewpoints. Investigate a few.

The grieving process can be long and slow. However, there are ways to make the journey a little easier. Apply these tips to your situation and note the effect. You might be surprised by which are the most helpful. Keep trying.

“Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection:

the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking

about the fact that you suffer.

I not only live each endless day in grief,

but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”

- C. S. Lewis